Oh! How I wish I could backtrack my steps before moving forward any more. Maybe not so much retrace, either, as relive but to set straight certain matters which I should have way back then. What if life could be controlled by a remote, then no understanding would have been required at all; it would just be a series of clicks ..?!
As a realist, I know that I cannot backtrack for the rules of nature are not as such but I can certainly pause the "NOW" to surmise and comprehend the situation that I have in hand for I'm feeling lost in the translation of understanding the dynamics of life (a journey, I embarked upon couple of years back).
The realm of life is such a vast expanse that even the timeline of a lifetime seems hell short of coping up with the pace of time to make sense of the reality of reality. Come what may we can only learn life backwards and live it forwards. There are no rooms for making repetitive mistakes; either learn from the first time you erred or learn from observing those around you.
The transformation from Newtonian kind of thinking to mechanical thinking has wrecked each one of us. Why did we stop questioning like he and his cult did? Why do we simply gulp and get into the flow of what is offered or give up? There is only one lifetime, then why are we behaving like such headless chickens scattering and scampering away as the rest do? It is this very observation that disturbs my mind extensively.
The transformation from Newtonian kind of thinking to mechanical thinking has wrecked each one of us. Why did we stop questioning like he and his cult did? Why do we simply gulp and get into the flow of what is offered or give up? There is only one lifetime, then why are we behaving like such headless chickens scattering and scampering away as the rest do? It is this very observation that disturbs my mind extensively.
Understanding the dynamics of life is best when you view it through the prism by role playing as an observer in your own life. How much of learning you can have depends on how much of information your mind can gauge and imbue. Sometimes thinking too much also causes stress and clutters our mind with so many thoughts and realizations that it is difficult to sift through what you really endeavor to seek.
End Result: Withdrawal symptoms of going back into a shell.
To just react impulsively is like having a free falling back from the cliff with your arms outstretched. You do not know whether you'll be grabbed in between and saved or be shattered to smithereens.
I still struggle when at crossroads and am left with choices. How do I know which one is right for me? I can ponder over it for my whole life or just make a choice and walk that path to see if that's the path I want to be in else I'll have to take a U-turn and go the other way round. But, what do you do when there are multiple choices? Try them all, eh? Who on earth has the luxury of so much time at their disposal? Atleast, I do not. Every sojourn leaves its imprint in me and being the person who doesn't forget, the impact lasts longer than desired. Now, whether it is good or bad is not something worth debating over. But, whenever I feel exalted and numbed, a state-of-being akin to my emotions put in a blender where no words can express the feelings I feel; I wish I wouldn't take this quest of mine so seriously and live just a moment at a time. Instead of getting lost in translating life, I've decided to to live life by one rule.. If it happens, it happens.. I'm not stressing over this stuff anymore..!!
Now on, reinforced... I will believe in what I do and I will only do what I truly believe in.
Comments
I don't know if any journey can be abandoned. We choose to carry them on, sometimes, in the same way or by ourselves. They can end even when we may not want them to.