Saturday, February 26, 2011

Turning Point...

As George Bernard Shaw says...
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

True to his words, I embarked on my entrepreneurial journey on January 26, 1999, in the first year of my MBA itself when I bagged a good project from KRCL. My business gained momentum day after day taking me all over India including the rural side. As a Technologist, I have seen the rapid growth of technology and keeping abreast of it was a day to day challenge. From legacy systems to Server Oriented Architecture to Thin Clients to Client-Server to the New Media, I have covered it all in a span of 12yrs. Somewhere down the line, 5yrs earlier; I also diversified into Recruitments on client demand.

Acquiring new clients, delivering projects, constantly building teams, mentoring them, moving from one segment of the industry to the other was energizing and being young the sheer zest of making it on my own without an investor backing gave me a kick. I made my business the fulcrum of my life. It began and ended there for me. There were the highs, the lows and the no-business phases too, but I survived for giving up wasn't me. The sheer power of creating a corporate entity which in turn formed my own individual identity is a different high altogether..!!

I often used to wonder when my colleagues were climbing up the ladder in various corporates and moving places what is it like to be on that side of the world. This is one thought that kept niggling me in the back of my mind always for being self funded, the monetary returns for me were not as high but the projects I worked on were diverse and covered a broader spectrum. Largely, it did not matter but the seed persisted.

Certain twists in my personal life in the last few years and the dent of recession that we all faced couple of years back gave my HR business a huge set-back. Also, personal responsibilities started demanding more of my time, so much so that I just got myself to grinding halt one day, to pause and to assess the situation. With all the responsibilities that I am shouldering and after a lot of contemplation, deliberation and weighing the situation in hand, I opted to walk over to the other side of the bridge and opted for employment as recent as a week back in a large corporate with a good profile. My first turning point in life.

For a self made woman who prided in being an entrepreneur for 12yrs of her career; this decision affected me a lot mentally. Precisely a week into the other side and I see a huge world of difference. I don't even know if I belong here but being a committed professional that I am; I intend giving this my cent percent and time off course, as I am still in the nascent stage before I decide to pause again if time forces me to as it did this time.

Today, when I vacated my office to hand it back to my landlord, it was a sinking feeling that literally made me choke on my emotions. Everything that I had built brick my brick by putting in my blood, sweat and toil; I was dismantling with my own hands. Handing over my office back was like letting go of my own created world. An entity that had a form for more than a decade will cease to exist from hereon. Words fall short of expressing what exactly I am going through right now..!!

Generally, people do job first and then become entrepreneurs and here I am at mid-life doing it the other way round. Whether the decision I took was right or wrong, only time will tell. Zendagi Migzara a.k.a Life moves on, is what life is all about, yet...

I am moving on with my life with my favorite quote being the only driving and reinstating force in my mind ~
Dum Spira, Spera...

Epilogue: On March 30, 2011, I rolled back to being a Consultant after having realized I am not cut to being an employee. Beyond everything, the entrepreneurial spirit within me was "calling" and I had to return back to my world. I, now, firmly believe an entrepreneur can never call it "Quits" or "The END" ever.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Aaaahhh! Life...

"I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul."

An old adage but so very true if we were to understand the nuances of it.

Isn't is strange how we treat our success and failure? If it is success, it is due to us as in what lies inside us but if it is failure, we do not think twice before allaying it to the outside. There is no point attributing our failure to a person, event or circumstances. This is akin to rationalizing ourselves from facing reality in the face of it and standing up for ourself more so our choices. If our choices could lead us to success, they could lead us to failure too. Accepting this truth is the only way out!

We are not born with wisdom inherent in us; this is something we acquire through the mileage of our life. As we grow and face the challenges of life, we develop certain traits that makes us who we are! Our life can be just what we want to be if we do not let our fire go out in the hopeless swamps of the unknown and the lost. Do check the path and the nature of battle sought and set foot accordingly. Life never offers you something you cannot handle. Let not the trials in life, mow you down; they only make you stronger and who you are and when you face a similar situation the next time, you just know how to deal with it.

Your life can be what you want it to be, only if you did not rush into it and took it a moment at a time. The world you deserve is real and will surely unfold itself when the time is ripe for it to happen!


I end this note with my favorite quote from Grandma E. Moses,
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be..!!