Have you observed or realized that we all have an other side to us? I have. There are so many times that we toggle between the two and that is where the complexity in our life begins.
It all begins with the "I" and the dream or the belief that we feel which would help us create our own identity. In our journey of defining the "I"; we come across many junctures where we have to take decisions. While these decisions have life impacting changes on us, we fail to realize the gravity of it until much later. A second factor that we come across is relations. I find relations to be very wierd. While we take some seriously, we look through/take light the rest. All of us tend to do the same. This "looking through" process when one is serious and the other is not is what causes the heartburn and the negativities that follow. The third factor is our quest to earn and make money and fast track our career/business. The more we earn, the merrier and no amount is enough at the end of the day. Most of us end up compromising on our core integral values (the one with which we started our journey on) and go through a value change process at this level or re-align ourselves to the fetid realm called the "WORLD". This is actually the breakaway point. The fourth factor is our tendency to please one and all to avoid unpleasantries. Whether we actually want to do it or no, is another aspect but the fact remains. Again, we do so till a point and one fine day when our endurance limits reach their threshold point, we just give it up and move on not caring a damn about it thereby creating further complexities. Only if, we would do this pre-emptively and not fall prey to it..!!
In the midst of all this melee, we end up taking too many things for granted and end up with identity crisis in the 30s wondering where did our life go by? What did we actually do all along? I, too, walked the same path.
In my quest to identify my true calling recently when I suffered from identity crisis, I happened to trip on this reality of duality. It baffled n' stuck me hard as to why had I not realized this earlier. It would have saved a lot of damage that I had self-induced being ignorant of this reality check. Being one who doesn't belong to the cult of looking back n' repenting; I have decided to now be consciously aware about this existence and see how best I can leverage on it.
On a side note, my quest for finding out my true calling turned out to be "The Zahir" of my life. At one time; I seemed completely possessed by it unable to concentrate on anything else.
Zahir for those who are unaware according to Paulo Coelho is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else.
The moment, I realized what my calling was, I felt an immense sense of liberation as if I am born again.
I felt intoxicated
intoxicated with life
for the first time ever
I sensed myself clean within
n' it felt within my soul
for once ~
I embraced my life, dearly
for by now I had realised
that I am a free spirit,
who has been born again..!!