Saturday, November 19, 2011

Moving On...

If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you.
~ T. S. Eliot

Life can hit real hard at times. Some incidents knock you down, some breeze past while some blow you out and bring you to your knees. How many times do we wallow in the bitterness of our lives that has embittered us deeply to the extent of them leaving a dent on us? Be it the emotional upheavals due to the lows in business or career, a broken heart, being grossly misunderstood, lovelorn, untrue accusations, drifting away of close relations, death of revered ones, frayed experiences of being used as a pawn after having been unknowingly kept in the dark, caught in Catch 22 situations, the list would go on endlessly...

It's oft said, "Move On...". Do not hold back onto the past, live in the present, dream of the tomorrows that are waiting to unfold themselves with time. Is it really as easy as it is said? NO. For the value system inculcated within us as we are brought up, all our life, we are taught to hold onto things; aren't we? Isn't this just why "letting go" doesn't come as easily to us as it is said..??

I've spent my life time trying to seek answers, reasons as to why did I go through what I did and what is it that I need to do and I am cent percent sure, I'm not the lone person going through such gamut of emotions that cage and bind me to the indelible incidents of the past. It is one hell of a heavy load, indeed which followed me wherever I went. In my vagabond sojourn that I embarked on few days back, I left with an intention to seek some answers that were cluttering my mind, forcing me to withdraw into my shell every alternate day affecting my productivity and family relations. I did not seek what I wanted to but I learnt one thing "things happen only when you are ripe for them to happen". Nothing happens accidentally. It is all pre-ordained and they happen for a reason with lessons to be learnt. This is not something new that dawned on me; I had been aware of it all the time but had chosen denial of accepting this reality of life.

Its true that very few admit that your past moves on with you wherever you move and even affects your thinking capabilities thereby having a cascading effect in your life. How long do you want to live a life like this of being a moron controlled by an unseen force? Is a puppet all that you want to be for the rest of your life not bothering to see the good blossoming around you and caring for the people who really care for you; thereby further complicating your already complex life?

Can you really undo what has happened? Can you reset your life? NO. There is no delete, undo or reset button in life for we are not technical pre-programmed gadgets but humans with a sense of feelings, yet, we cannot remain emotionally gullible perennially. When you reach such phases in your life; just STOP and THINK.

Pause in life as many times in your life as you need to, to ponder, weigh and take the call on the next logical move that you need to take after you have given yourself the much deserved time to mull over it such that you can keep your past buried deep within your system and not let it affect you. Solitude and withdrawing into your shell is good only if handled wisely. It could transform you for your worst making you tread the road to self-destruction and perdition or for the best as in letting you live a life of your dreams based solely on your efforts. Try a different approach. Accept the past in the face of it and make it a part of your life. In a way it is these very incidents that shape you into being the person that you are today, isn't it..??

Wouldn't it be nice, if we plunge ourselves head on, on the same journey that we had embarked on without these incidents halting and affecting us? We were en route somewhere, weren't we? With renewed faith in self and following our true calling in life, our spirits will be lifted de facto. Do they help? YES. The control lies in our hands to take radical measures or baby steps as is apt to move on.

Motivation is intrinsic and you've to seek it on your own. No one can do it for you. The battles of your life only you can fight. No one can do on your behalf. At best, the anam caras and travelers in your life can only lend their shoulder for you to rest on, give you a sense of direction, share with you, your experiences along with theirs and when they realize they have played their part they, too, move on; so why can't we..??

When life seems hard, it is more about how hard you let it hit you and what you do to defend it. Consider yourself as the author of your own life where every page is written by you. Open your heart, mind n' soul akin to the wonders of this mysterious life. Demolish the bridges behind you for you do not have to tread that path ever again. It is enough that it is cemented in your memories. Now on, all you need to do is have faith, look ahead n' MOVE ON... :)

Life is calling... where are you..??

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Footprints in the sands of time

My mind wants to interpret the dreams that are mine;
I want to fulfill these dreams that are mine..!!

I am a dreamy eyed girl who set foot on my journey after my education, almost 2 decades back to create a mark of her own. My own signature identity as I call it..!!

At the onset of the journey, I was surprised initially to discover, how little I knew of my strengths n' weaknesses and of the different facets of life, how much unknown I was to what I wanted to do with my life, how clueless I was about my destination and which road to take, I did not know whether what I was seeing was a reflection or a mirage; all I knew was that I had the had to move on and I had the unwavering will in my stride to create an identity for me. Initially, I accepted things at their face value and treated them as gospel only to face the consequences at a later stage. En route the journey, I learnt to value reality checks and dared to be real in a world of pretence. I accepted life in its true form instead of living in the delusions of a surreal world. I have seen it all n' done it all having been through most of the forms of crisis n' windfall. I have been euphoric whenever I have reached the zeniths and have wavered n' been crest fallen whenever I reached the nadirs only to bounce back with renewed vigor after a period of dormancy. Time has played a perennially instrumental role n' healed me many-a-times.

In interludes, I have had some people whom I call as 'travelers' in my life who held me when I was falling n' guided me through the dark tunnels till we found light together. They left when their deed was done. Their departure hurt but their footprints left an indelible imprint in my heart. I was never the same after having been with them. Every such brief encounter has only helped me evolve discovering each time, a new facet within me which I was unaware of even though it was present within me all the while. After having understood the role and importance of 'travelers' in lives; I continued the tradition and played similar role in few other lives who needed me at that juncture of their life and left when I felt I had fulfilled my role and it was time to move on. Easier said than done but that's the way of life..!!

The dogmas of life have always forced me to break all set limits to rise above the situation to survive. It's said with age comes maturity. Same has been with me. The deeper realizations on the finer nuances of life, the importance of relations, the understanding of how crucial it is to handle feelings effectively, the spirit to reach the goals set in life and realize my dreams, the ability to provide for my family the very best that life has to offer and enjoy every moment of life to the fullest have changed the dimensions of my life altogether.

Life, indeed, is a mysterious intriguing journey which tests your endurance limits and wherewithal where living is not as easy as "breathe in - breathe out". You learn the meaning of life only when you connect the dots, define the "I" in you and when you have made sense of it all, you start living every moment of your life to the fullest in its true essence.

I have learnt that...
• your family is of utmost importance to you
• you find happiness in giving
• there is immense power in selfless love
• you need to pause at times to make sense in repose
• you've to spread seeds of bliss wherever you go
• you've to hold hands of those who reach out to you
• you've to reach out within you to find your true calling
• you've to set yourself FREE from all binds to be the real you

I, fervently hope that with the blessed insights and the wisdom that I have gained over time in pursuit of defining "ME"; when I reach the end point of my life, I should feel content from deep within having realized most of my dreams, nurtured my family with absolute dedication, experienced true FREEDOM and touched a few souls having taught them to believe in learn from life... to realize their dreams... to be 'travelers' when reached out to... to nurture the unprotected... to love unconditionally...

When I'm done with my lifetime here, I want to be remembered by my close ones as, " She believed immensely in the power of Nature and knew when to rend and when to sew. No matter what the seasons of life brought, she never changed inside. She never allowed the pressures of the seasons or the weathers of life to change what she was underneath. She was a mountain you could rely on to watch over those who looked up to her."

Even if they are sublime, even if they get erased with time, I want to leave behind my footprints in the sands of time...