Saturday, December 25, 2010

Life is calling...

I look to the sky, a cloudless sway,
put a conch to my ear, a silent sea,
strange is life, stranger are its ways...
an empty path ahead, that connects to me.

I too, like most of you started my life with a belief and a dream. En route, my journey, I went through a lot. Love, friendship, betrayal, politics, responsibilities, work, success, failure, accidents, happiness, contentment. During the bright phases, I felt on top of the world having made a niche of my own at a young age, being able to weather all storms and provide my family all that I wanted to and living my life to the fullest. The only thing I firmly adhered to was to not let this success hit my head and I clung to the roots, my parents and Alma Mater inculcated in me. During the dark phases that have been more oft and back to back; I felt as if I was being sucked into an endless black hole thinking that I would end. When people whom I thought were mine did not stand by me during my crisis; I felt shattered but each time during every such sojourn, I have had someone who has stepped in my life out of nowhere, connected with me, held me and helped me come out and move on. I call each one of these as "travelers" in my life for they expect nothing in return and move on when they have done their deed leaving us to carry on the same deed. Had it not been for them and my sheer spirit to bounce back, I would have been history today. It's not them alone and it's not my spirit alone, it's both. As it's said, it takes "two to tango!".

I am not the lone one to have been through this very journey. We all do. I have understood this but how many of you do? Learn to acknowledge these travelers and let them lead when you can't think for yourself. They indeed are messiahs in disguise. Don't get into a shell, reach out and you will be reached.

What I have learnt is that what makes a difference is you n' you alone! If you have a belief in yourself that is staunch and unrivalled; be it a blue sky or a gray sky, you will know... they all pass for they have to! It's just a matter of time. If a beating is what it takes to bring out the best you then let the world dole out its absolute worst for you have it in you to take it.

Life does not come without a price; there is hurt, pain and sacrifice which only make us grow stronger over time, success which does not come without blood and sweat, ability to "Move On" which is impossible without a determination, happiness which cannot be felt without connecting to the little joys that Mother Nature has laid for us, the list would go on...This is the very elm of our life!

Do not get attuned to the same way the society is programmed if you want to be whom you want to be. STOP. PAUSE. THINK. ACT. Trust me, we all are as FREE as much as we believe and want to be and then there are these travelers in our life to make all the difference!!

Life is calling...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Road to Perdition or Santiago..??

Three decades of journey and a gritty girl who would make any one say "yes" when they want to say "no", who lived for she believed in fulfilling her dreams, who was terrified within but way too courageous outside, who could take on every strife in life head on has been transformed into being an unusually silent reticent self, who refuses to dream, who does not express emotions in gestures, who does not trust anyone anymore, whose tired eyes are void and filled with pain and who is desperately seeking her calling..!!

She isn't the lone person in the world to have undergone this transformation. We all do. Some show, some conceal, some ignore, some accept and move on. But look around and you will see the same bitterness and emptiness in all kinds of people. Ask anyone, "How are you?", the answer would be "I am fine.", why is it not that "I am happy"? If you insist and ask again,"Are you happy?", the answer would be "I guess I am or I do not know or I have it all but something is missing...".

Why has the world become so materialistic, farce, superficial and mean? Whatever happened to the simple life that our grand parents lived? Why is reality so difficult to adjust and accept? Why has simplicity receeded to being a R.I.P? It's a vicious rigmarole with no way out akin to the chakra that Abhimanyu could get into but not get out of!!

It's said, things happen when you are ripe for them to happen. If we observe closely, nature has its own way of showing signs and taking you through it. Either I am not ripe as yet or I am unable to read the signs but all I know is that it is high time I become the real me once again and identify my calling else I am certainly enroute to perdition. If taking the road to Santiago is the only way to discover myself, I shall walk that path.

Life is calling... I got to be there!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dealing with Past..!!

We live in a world in which we're forever juggling demands, but rarely focusing on any one thing for long. Yet, in this very demanding world, very often we come face to face with our past, we find ourselves incapable of overcoming it, leave alone managing to deal with it.

Aaaahh... the quintessential PAST!
We are rarely able to overcome our past no matter how much you try. You either get engulfed in it's emotions or try to ignore by putting it behind you (albeit unsuccessfully!) or casting aside. To keep oneself in the present is a huge challenge and should be undertaken. Of course, the success of such an undertaking is not really guaranteed. Nevertheless, it's a sure step ahead then being lost, rooted and left behind.

Mood swings is a totally different beast altogether. My friend mentioned about having read the works of a few people who suffer from extreme depression and mood swings but are also reasonably intelligent to think about their illness being aware about it in their split conscious phase. I could very well ingest the depth of what he was referring to for I happen to fall in the same calibre.

Over the last few years, I have firmly accepted the fact that I am prone to mood swings and depression. I make it a point to mask myself at work so that it doesn't affect my work responsibilities and deliverables. It is indeed striking to observe the fact that inspite of having this weakness; I have carved a niche for myself when it comes to my career taking some real high risks and reaping through it. My career highlights have occurred in this very span of time. Basically, I have been able to be my productive best when I have chosen to!

The reason why I am sharing this with you all is that we all go through this phase but it is how we choose to deal with it that decides the road ahead for us. There are many people out there going through the same grind. Falling into a dark and bottomless pit is much easily tolerated when you know there are others who suffer the same fate.

Accepting is the first BIG step. Absorbed attention — the capacity to delay other gratifications to focus on one goal at a time — is the mantra of achieving and sustaining anything. By being aware of my inclination to overuse a strength — by recognizing my own vulnerability — I was able to make a different choice. So will you..!!

Zendagi Migzara...