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Showing posts from January, 2011

EXPECTATION - A Road block!

For a long time, I have given a lot of importance to relations in my life. While I gave all of me into every relation that I made in my life, somewhere in the remote corner of my mind was the creeping fact that I was not getting my due. This nagging thought troubled me a lot for a long time, till a dear friend of mine posed that as a rhetorical before me! For the kind of person I am, I dwelt deep on this and I started questioning myself. Why was I expecting to be reciprocated likewise in the first place? Why was I not just giving my all and getting done with it and by that I mean moving on with my life? In expecting, the reciprocation from the same person on whom I was showering love, care, affection and protection; I was also laying a base pre-condition of that he/she would do the same for me without asking for it. And, when they did not, it left me visibly hurt, affected my emotional balance and other relations. Had it not been for this conversation with this friend of mine, I would…

Matter of choice..!!

Heck, three decades of life's journey and I didn't know whether I was coming or going..!!
Seen it all... my dad's death right before my eyes, my marriage falling apart in 3 hours (I used to think it only happened in Hollywood..!!), disconnect within family, career swinging uphill and downhill, ghastly accident, financial crisis, betrayal in love, friends who were not really friends, solitude, depression... the list would go on n' on. Hell, I even attempted suicides when I couldn't take it in anymore but I survived. What did I learn from it..?? I was destined to live.
Deep in the rampant carnage of what was left of my so-called "life" that was disintegrating me rapidly, I realized, I had to pause and make sense out of it as it was me and me alone who could get the handle on my life again. Death is an obvious, why then was I running towards it when it was running away from me? Whatever had to happen had happened and it was over. Why then was I not getting o…