::: ABHEDA TATTVA :::

As much as I did not want to I had to pick my bags again to relocate to a new abode; I had to do it. Work affairs..!! The only thing that excited me was that I was to go through the phase of being a stranger in an unknown city who did not know what was to unfold before her and for the fact that I could explore newer horizons. When I landed in this city, the first thing I did was inhale the air and let it sensitize me. I emptied my mind to make room for the new thoughts and feelings. I felt good then..!! I had to rush through the first few days as I had to find an accommodation, fix a convenient route to office, arrange for my meals and step up to speed at work. None of my so called friends and colleagues offered to guide me through let alone help inspite of an earnest request. The first dent was indented with the people mentalities here..!! Is it so difficult to offer help to someone in distress..??!! To add to it, there was the daily dose of power cuts for close to 4-5 hour...

Life has been a blend of the good and bad.  I let the events in my life shape me which I shouldn't have allowed in the first place. My life began and ended with the responsibilities life bestowed on me. I don't know when making both the ends meet and keeping everyone around me happy became the sole purpose of my life. I valued certain relations far more than they deserved to such an extent that I did not value my own existence. I am not an anti social person but somewhere when the tide turned tough, I found respite in the confines of solitude. I don't exactly remember when and how I had become an observer outside my core and watched life pass by. Had it not been for a recent spate of incidents that shook me vigorously and forced me to rethink on all aspects of my life, I would have continued remaining an empty and hollow person that I had turned out to be.  Sometimes I guess you only have to take a step back and realize what's important in your life, what yo...

Life's journey is made of many sojourns. While some are big, some are small. This journey is accomplished with many people who come across as travelers in our lives but some last life long. As we grow, we know we need more of such real lasting ones to make our journey more meaningful as life when lived alone often leads to sadness, loneliness and melancholy but when lived in the company of anam cara's often turns out to be joyous as happy times get multiplied and testing times are divided and feel less harsh. What happens when suddenly in your life, you feel as if you've been hit by a whirlwind and someone known feels like an unknown ..?? No matter what you cannot relate with that person now the way you did earlier. Life comes to a standstill momentarily till you're able to collect yourself and figure out what went wrong in the relation. How did it turn sour? How did the bridges turn into gaps and further into chasms? How come you never saw the storm coming and ...

“It's hard to determine where to draw the line between  being nice and not hurting people's feelings, and  standing up for what you believe.” It was a very recent experience when I landed in a similar situation and realized that such, too, could be  the case that life could dish out to you. My only best friend  with whom I share my life's one of finest relation on the basis of friendship based on  the premise that we would be there for each other  come what the situation be took me through it. In a platonic relation all  you seek is time and nothing else. Not the clocked and  timed ones but the once in a while kinds where you live  in a world of your own catching up on each other and  you're in a "ignore" mode with regards to the world and just spend quality time with each other. All  was fine till one day, a span of time ear marked as such by him alone (a genuine surprise for me), got  traded for a business d...

I crossed the great ocean and yet, I halted so close to the shore when I found myself alone stripped off all will n' deplete of any energy to take me to the other side. I am not the only person who has reached such crossroads in life n' found myself at vain. A peek around tells me there are many like me. It is not that one fine day, I had lightening strike me out of the blue that made me realize that I am a stranger in my own life. I have felt so many-a-times n' till date it continues to harrow n' browbeat the winds out of me each time I go through it. It is more like a reality check crisis where I find me questioning myself on: Who am I? What am I doing? How on earth did I land myself here? Where did my life go by? What is the way ahead? Suddenly, my life seems surreal and I find myself as an observer who is observing my own life in reels. Such incidents come and go but they blur me out while they last. It is in such moments that I find it difficult t...

As George Bernard Shaw says... Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. True to his words, I embarked on my entrepreneurial journey on January 26, 1999, in the first year of my MBA itself when I bagged a good project from KRCL. My business gained momentum day after day taking me all over India including the rural side. As a Technologist, I have seen the rapid growth of technology and keeping abreast of it was a day to day challenge. From legacy systems to Server Oriented Architecture to Thin Clients to Client-Server to the New Media, I have covered it all in a span of 12yrs. Somewhere down the line, 5yrs earlier; I also diversified into Recruitments on client demand. Acquiring new clients, delivering projects, constantly building teams, mentoring them, moving from one segment of the industry to the other was energizing and being young the sheer zest of making it on my own without an investor backing gave me a kick. I made my business the fulcr...

Heck, three decades of life's journey and I didn't know whether I was coming or going..!! Seen it all... my dad's death right before my eyes, my marriage falling apart in 3 hours (I used to think it only happened in Hollywood..!!), disconnect within family, career swinging uphill and downhill, ghastly accident, financial crisis, betrayal in love, friends who were not really friends, solitude, depression... the list would go on n' on. Hell, I even attempted suicides when I couldn't take it in anymore but I survived. What did I learn from it..?? I was destined to live . Deep in the rampant carnage of what was left of my so-called "life" that was disintegrating me rapidly, I realized, I had to pause and make sense out of it as it was me and me alone who could get the handle on my life again. Death is an obvious, why then was I running towards it when it was running away from me? Whatever had to happen had happened and it was over. Why then was I not...

I feel immensely challenged especially when trying to figure out what exactly is it that my unquiet mind wants to zero in on but the debilitating effects of prodding a hyper active mind can be catastrophic. When shackles of loneliness contrive to trap the free spirit, perennial friction is bound to ensue. There are moments when I feel my " Life is calling... " and then there are moments when I feel an unbelievable sense of emptiness and a daunting feeling of being completely overwhelmed. It's like oscillating between the zenith and nadir and yet not finding stable grounds anywhere. I have realised that priorities in life change when dreams pave way to the harsh realities of reasons of living and get wiped out of existence in the melee of survival. My priorities? Well, they too disappeared when I chose to live the life of a struggler trying to make both ends meet. Do I regret? Yes and No. Yes, because I killed the creative instincts in me and the dearth of it today makes m...