::: ABHEDA TATTVA :::

If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you. ~ T. S. Eliot Life can hit real hard at times. Some incidents knock you down, some breeze past while some blow you out and bring you to your knees. How many times do we wallow in the bitterness of our lives that has embittered us deeply to the extent of them leaving a dent on us? Be it the emotional upheavals due to the lows in business or career, a broken heart, being grossly misunderstood, lovelorn, untrue accusations, drifting away of close relations, death of revered ones, frayed experiences of being used as a pawn after having been unknowingly kept in the dark, caught in Catch 22 situations, the list would go on endlessly... It's oft said, "Move On...". Do not hold back onto the past, live in the present, dream of the tomorrows that are waiting to unfold themselves with time. Is it really as easy as it is said? NO. For the value system inculcated ...

What is FREEDOM .?? It is the ability to deliberate or weigh alternatives and make choices of our own on our own. Decision is akin to making incisions to the deepest level possible of every available alternative without any fear or worry. Having done this it becomes easier to seive what really matters to us from what doesn't. Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. There was no one there. Speaks volumes, doesn't it? Such is Life. It is all about making one decision after another which makes us who we are..!! So, how important is freedom? Let me tell you, it is bloody hell important to each one us. Let go off this and the journey thereon will be a series of debacles and heart burn. When I make a decision, I withdraw into my shell (Yes, I'm a typical cancerian.!!) cut off all alternatives and make a choice and having done that then I do not look back in life ever. There have been numerous cross-roads in my life that made me halt, pause my life and ...

I look to the sky, a cloudless sway, put a conch to my ear, a silent sea, strange is life, stranger are its ways... an empty path ahead, that connects to me. I too, like most of you started my life with a belief and a dream. En route, my journey, I went through a lot. Love, friendship, betrayal, politics, responsibilities, work, success, failure, accidents, happiness, contentment. During the bright phases, I felt on top of the world having made a niche of my own at a young age, being able to weather all storms and provide my family all that I wanted to and living my life to the fullest. The only thing I firmly adhered to was to not let this success hit my head and I clung to the roots, my parents and Alma Mater inculcated in me. During the dark phases that have been more oft and back to back; I felt as if I was being sucked into an endless black hole thinking that I would end. When people whom I thought were mine did not stand by me during my crisis; I felt shattered but e...

Three decades of journey and a gritty girl who would make any one say "yes" when they want to say "no", who lived for she believed in fulfilling her dreams, who was terrified within but way too courageous outside, who could take on every strife in life head on has been transformed into being an unusually silent reticent self, who refuses to dream, who does not express emotions in gestures, who does not trust anyone anymore, whose tired eyes are void and filled with pain and who is desperately seeking her calling..!! She isn't the lone person in the world to have undergone this transformation. We all do. Some show, some conceal, some ignore, some accept and move on. But look around and you will see the same bitterness and emptiness in all kinds of people. Ask anyone, "How are you?", the answer would be "I am fine.", why is it not that "I am happy"? If you insist and ask again,"Are you happy?", the answer would be ...

I feel immensely challenged especially when trying to figure out what exactly is it that my unquiet mind wants to zero in on but the debilitating effects of prodding a hyper active mind can be catastrophic. When shackles of loneliness contrive to trap the free spirit, perennial friction is bound to ensue. There are moments when I feel my " Life is calling... " and then there are moments when I feel an unbelievable sense of emptiness and a daunting feeling of being completely overwhelmed. It's like oscillating between the zenith and nadir and yet not finding stable grounds anywhere. I have realised that priorities in life change when dreams pave way to the harsh realities of reasons of living and get wiped out of existence in the melee of survival. My priorities? Well, they too disappeared when I chose to live the life of a struggler trying to make both ends meet. Do I regret? Yes and No. Yes, because I killed the creative instincts in me and the dearth of it today makes m...