I crossed the great ocean
and yet, I halted
so close to the shore
when I found myself alone
stripped off all will
n' deplete of any energy
to take me to the other side.
I am not the only person who has reached such crossroads in life n' found myself at vain. A peek around tells me there are many like me. It is not that one fine day, I had lightening strike me out of the blue that made me realize that I am a stranger in my own life. I have felt so many-a-times n' till date it continues to harrow n' browbeat the winds out of me each time I go through it. It is more like a reality check crisis where I find me questioning myself on: Who am I? What am I doing? How on earth did I land myself here? Where did my life go by? What is the way ahead? Suddenly, my life seems surreal and I find myself as an observer who is observing my own life in reels. Such incidents come and go but they blur me out while they last. It is in such moments that I find it difficult to define the "I" in "ME" and let the "I" be the captain of my ship and master of my soul which is how it ideally should be.
Changes in life are inevitable. You just need to go with the flow n' nature guides you through is what you are told but is it really so..?? No. With every change, there is a transformation that takes place within us and the definition of "I" has to undergo a change. The cycle continues till one fine day you look into the mirror and you fail to recognize the person you see.
The shackles in our lives have their own way of controlling the strings of our life n' make us seem like puppets or dorks, should I say..??!! Why do we let them hold us at ransom with such elan n' that too so rampantly? Are we so weak that we cannot step back n' take charge..?? No, we are not. It's entirely onto us to hold or lose control.
In the realm of the world we live in; we are all taught to hold on when the thumb rule of sustenance says you got to move on by letting go off things that bind you down. Contradicting it's own self, isn't it? I used to feel so too until I managed to learn the art of walking the fine line n' striking a balance. It took me long but once I learnt the "how-to" part of it, I have found it a little more easier to deal with. I haven't mastered the art as yet so I still see those days when I am torn between taking the decision of what to hold onto n' what all to let go. Time works wonders in such moments. It's amazing to find how great a healer it is. Do not think of such incidents as a "being sick" phenomena and isolate yourself out. It is natural. Let them occur. They are not meant to damage you but they are constructs that guide you in the right direction. Everything happens for a reason and you'll en route discover why you went through what you did. Keep the faith on..!!
Zendagi Migzara...
Comments
Great to see where you are today, Ash, keep going, it's so worth it.