Saturday, June 7, 2014

Stranger in an Unknown City - Part I

I always longed to know and feel how it felt like to be a stranger in an unknown city. My wish was granted when I got an opportunity that forced me to relocate to a city, I had never visited before.

But what unfolded was totally unexpected..!! 

Having been bred in a city that is a destination dream for millions of people; the city had given me a lot. I believe somewhere during my lifetime, the city became a part of me; something that I never realized before. Stark realization, must say..!! 

The pangs crept in when I had to pack and had to decide what I would take with me and what I would leave behind while moving to my new place of abode. Suddenly, I found myself caught in the midst of nowhere. In the last few years, I had moments where I thought, I was done to death with this city and had nothing left but this was not how I felt now..!! After endless conversations with my inner self; I realized it was only memories that I could take with me and nothing else. What the city had was intangible; its spirit could not be captured in anything. This moment of truth was hard for me..!!

Just before I could board my flight; the time on my watch stopped. It was uncanny; it stunned me. I believe Mother Nature had started showing me signs and this was just the beginning. The city wasn't leaving me and I did not want to leave it, too, yet I had to. I moved on. Bottling my emotions within me, I opened my arms to the city that was unknown to me. I decided to give time, time to show a clearer picture to me. I was anonymous here. I knew no one here and nobody here knew me. The comfort of anonymity felt nice for a while. I wandered on and on. I explored places like never before. While I was doing this, I was alerted by the signs nature consipred for me.Every sign led to just one conclusion. "I did not belong here." May be it was all in my thoughts, may be it wasn't..!! In return to the open arms that I had extended to this city; I did not get any embrace. Everything around here feels strange. People are weird; their attitude, weirder. Their value system and mindsets go back by eons. It eventually comes across as a "Outsiders not welcome here" kind of city. I feel lonely even when I am in a crowd and this loneliness is of a different nature. It can't be expressed in words. Every passing moment, I experience the feeling of being "UnBelonged" here.

I am done with experiencing what it feels like being a Stranger in an Unknown City. Now, I long to return to my home in the city of my calling. When this will happen, I do not know but I will put in my all and not stop till I am in my own nest experiencing the feeling of being belonged, once again..!!

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