I looked at world through glass,
watching its people pass,
I thought nobody would touch me,
that I'm safe
but the world blew cold, in the depths of my soul,
the deed was done, it was too late,
menacingly ruthless souls walked all over me,
crushing past me as if I am a nobody nowhere!!
It was twilight when I opened my eyes. I don't know how
many hours, I had been unconscious, how many days had
passed into oblivion? It had been my decision to do it
and I went ahead doing it.
Slowly I woke upto the realization that I was all wired
and tubed with needles poking inside me. I first saw my mom
and she appeared completely distraught!! Inspite of the
pain in her heart, she was happy I had survived, next
was my bro' who seemed as much concerned and there were
a team of doctors and nurses. I just photographed this
scene and committed it to my memory. Nothing else made
sense to me. My head was heavy with abstract collages
running in my mind. Simply put, I did'nt know whether I
was coming or going!!
I paused my mind for long to clear the clutter.
Gradually pieces fell in place. People whom I thought
would never hurt me had made me a wreck and had caused
me & my family to see such a day. Cold minded shrewd
people had exploited my weakness and hurt me where it
hurt the most. The damage was heavy for they had mixed
their professional and personal life and somehow pulled
me into this vortex. I was clouded in the ambivalence of
the unknowns.
My recovery happened in small baby steps
as I was filled with tropes of emptiness. I did a lot of
thinking in the recovery period. It was deliberate. I
had to sift the good from the bad. I was facing
adversity and as they say "Adversity is the acid test of
any relation", such was my case too. As I seived, I was
left with a handful of people who stood by me through my
crisis; giving me all of their strength and support. Had
it not been due to my family and these friends; I would
have not been alive today. I had made up mind to give
time, time to heal my wounds.
Slowly, as I found my
grounds; I also found my spirit back.
Now, wasn't the time to muse over the past or chase
vacant pursuits. I had to fight all the evils and demons
of my mind to steer my life in the right direction. I
had to rise like a phoneix from my own ash fill and
that's just what I did! That was the least I could do
for my loved ones. I made my mom & bro, my raison d'etre
and took control of my life. I flushed all the unwanted
people and incidents from my mind and instantly felt
lighter. I decided the path, I had to tread ahead and
found the road that connected to me.
Thus, having learnt all my lessons,
I...S T A R T E D...M Y...
I...S T A R T E D...M Y...
L I F E...A G A I N.
Zendagi Migzara...
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